just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
