She announced her abortion via fbk
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
