im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
