the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
