What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
