I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
COCAINE IS GR8
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
