ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
