RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
