I think I died a long time ago.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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