Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
