Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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