fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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