You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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