she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
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There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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