I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
