She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
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Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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