I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Someone came in the potted fern
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize