these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
