what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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