Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize