I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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