i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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