Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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