Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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