I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
