i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
