yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
