Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
