You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the condom got lost in my hair
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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