Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
