He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
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I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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