I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
