brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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