I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
