'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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