I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
