You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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