i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
