What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
