would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize