I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
