i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
