There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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