You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
