He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
