she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
