You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
