i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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