Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
