You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
