Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I love you. Go after that dick
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
