I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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