I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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