O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize