careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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