you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
