I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
