the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
