do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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