none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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