I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize