I didn't shave. On purpose
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize