I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my shit smells like andre
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
