toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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