I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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